This might be the most spaghetti-brained of all my posts.
Sometimes, I have too much to say. Really.
Like the fact that I have recently become much more introverted than I used to be. Why is that? Is it age? Maturity? Or is it for another purpose... has Papa changed my personality? Maybe it's a tweak that needed to happen?
I'm angry. Again, this is definitely a righteous anger. Did you know that there are CURRENTLY 27 MILLION slaves in this world? TODAY. Yes. Right now. January 15, 2012. SLAVES.
That's NOT okay.
I want to do something about it. I want to be an abolitionist. I want to set the captives free. I cannot shake this. I cannot get those 27 million out of my head. Battling for them in prayer everyday.
I just don't know... I mean, I know that the Lord has placed me here for a season...but how long is that season? Did He take me around the world, give me passions to fight injustice, and then bring me back here so that I will only long to go out again? Does He want me to do something here? Does He want me to realize that this is a place that will be okay without me, but He needs me on the front lines? Does He want me to just stay here for a while longer because maybe I can help raise up His army here?
I just don't see what good I'm doing here right now. I envision brothel raids in Ukraine, hanging out at the bars in Thailand, doing the Banana Dance with rescued children.
Can I do that today? Or must I wait...
I feel so torn. If I stay here, I have a plan. I will be safe here. I will be comfortable. I can do ministry, yes. I can speak truth and life into the women surrounding me.
Am I just experiencing wanderlust + the fascination of "going," or is it a deeper desire? What happened to my passion to be here? What happened to that love of Res Life? Do I hate Res Life? No way. I still enjoy it, but the passion isn't the same anymore. I still love my RAs. Drew is spot on when he calls our RD team "dream team."
Am I just missing the close-knit community of The Q? or is it something deeper?
These are the questions I'm wrestling with right now... It's hard, but I know that God is still good. He is still in control.
Passion2012 was phenom. I can't explain it. Louie Giglio convinced me to get a Twitter. I'm part of a music vid -- that comes out Feb. 27th. Details about that will come SOON. SO pumped for it. #27million.
Since Passion2012, I've been praying Ephesians 6:19-20 ... my prayer sounds a little like this...
More ramblings to come soon...
Sometimes, I have too much to say. Really.
Like the fact that I have recently become much more introverted than I used to be. Why is that? Is it age? Maturity? Or is it for another purpose... has Papa changed my personality? Maybe it's a tweak that needed to happen?
I'm angry. Again, this is definitely a righteous anger. Did you know that there are CURRENTLY 27 MILLION slaves in this world? TODAY. Yes. Right now. January 15, 2012. SLAVES.
That's NOT okay.
I want to do something about it. I want to be an abolitionist. I want to set the captives free. I cannot shake this. I cannot get those 27 million out of my head. Battling for them in prayer everyday.
I just don't know... I mean, I know that the Lord has placed me here for a season...but how long is that season? Did He take me around the world, give me passions to fight injustice, and then bring me back here so that I will only long to go out again? Does He want me to do something here? Does He want me to realize that this is a place that will be okay without me, but He needs me on the front lines? Does He want me to just stay here for a while longer because maybe I can help raise up His army here?
I just don't see what good I'm doing here right now. I envision brothel raids in Ukraine, hanging out at the bars in Thailand, doing the Banana Dance with rescued children.
Can I do that today? Or must I wait...
I feel so torn. If I stay here, I have a plan. I will be safe here. I will be comfortable. I can do ministry, yes. I can speak truth and life into the women surrounding me.
Am I just experiencing wanderlust + the fascination of "going," or is it a deeper desire? What happened to my passion to be here? What happened to that love of Res Life? Do I hate Res Life? No way. I still enjoy it, but the passion isn't the same anymore. I still love my RAs. Drew is spot on when he calls our RD team "dream team."
Am I just missing the close-knit community of The Q? or is it something deeper?
These are the questions I'm wrestling with right now... It's hard, but I know that God is still good. He is still in control.
Passion2012 was phenom. I can't explain it. Louie Giglio convinced me to get a Twitter. I'm part of a music vid -- that comes out Feb. 27th. Details about that will come SOON. SO pumped for it. #27million.
Since Passion2012, I've been praying Ephesians 6:19-20 ... my prayer sounds a little like this...
Papa, Whenever I speak, give me words so that I may fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel for which I am an ambassador in chains. May I declare it fearlessly as I should.Life is good. God is great.
More ramblings to come soon...
