This might be the most spaghetti-brained of all my posts.
Sometimes, I have too much to say. Really.
Like the fact that I have recently become much more introverted than I used to be. Why is that? Is it age? Maturity? Or is it for another purpose... has Papa changed my personality? Maybe it's a tweak that needed to happen?
I'm angry. Again, this is definitely a righteous anger. Did you know that there are CURRENTLY 27 MILLION slaves in this world? TODAY. Yes. Right now. January 15, 2012. SLAVES.
That's NOT okay.
I want to do something about it. I want to be an abolitionist. I want to set the captives free. I cannot shake this. I cannot get those 27 million out of my head. Battling for them in prayer everyday.
I just don't know... I mean, I know that the Lord has placed me here for a season...but how long is that season? Did He take me around the world, give me passions to fight injustice, and then bring me back here so that I will only long to go out again? Does He want me to do something here? Does He want me to realize that this is a place that will be okay without me, but He needs me on the front lines? Does He want me to just stay here for a while longer because maybe I can help raise up His army here?
I just don't see what good I'm doing here right now. I envision brothel raids in Ukraine, hanging out at the bars in Thailand, doing the Banana Dance with rescued children.
Can I do that today? Or must I wait...
I feel so torn. If I stay here, I have a plan. I will be safe here. I will be comfortable. I can do ministry, yes. I can speak truth and life into the women surrounding me.
Am I just experiencing wanderlust + the fascination of "going," or is it a deeper desire? What happened to my passion to be here? What happened to that love of Res Life? Do I hate Res Life? No way. I still enjoy it, but the passion isn't the same anymore. I still love my RAs. Drew is spot on when he calls our RD team "dream team."
Am I just missing the close-knit community of The Q? or is it something deeper?
These are the questions I'm wrestling with right now... It's hard, but I know that God is still good. He is still in control.
Passion2012 was phenom. I can't explain it. Louie Giglio convinced me to get a Twitter. I'm part of a music vid -- that comes out Feb. 27th. Details about that will come SOON. SO pumped for it. #27million.
Since Passion2012, I've been praying Ephesians 6:19-20 ... my prayer sounds a little like this...
More ramblings to come soon...
Sometimes, I have too much to say. Really.
Like the fact that I have recently become much more introverted than I used to be. Why is that? Is it age? Maturity? Or is it for another purpose... has Papa changed my personality? Maybe it's a tweak that needed to happen?
I'm angry. Again, this is definitely a righteous anger. Did you know that there are CURRENTLY 27 MILLION slaves in this world? TODAY. Yes. Right now. January 15, 2012. SLAVES.
That's NOT okay.
I want to do something about it. I want to be an abolitionist. I want to set the captives free. I cannot shake this. I cannot get those 27 million out of my head. Battling for them in prayer everyday.
I just don't know... I mean, I know that the Lord has placed me here for a season...but how long is that season? Did He take me around the world, give me passions to fight injustice, and then bring me back here so that I will only long to go out again? Does He want me to do something here? Does He want me to realize that this is a place that will be okay without me, but He needs me on the front lines? Does He want me to just stay here for a while longer because maybe I can help raise up His army here?
I just don't see what good I'm doing here right now. I envision brothel raids in Ukraine, hanging out at the bars in Thailand, doing the Banana Dance with rescued children.
Can I do that today? Or must I wait...
I feel so torn. If I stay here, I have a plan. I will be safe here. I will be comfortable. I can do ministry, yes. I can speak truth and life into the women surrounding me.
Am I just experiencing wanderlust + the fascination of "going," or is it a deeper desire? What happened to my passion to be here? What happened to that love of Res Life? Do I hate Res Life? No way. I still enjoy it, but the passion isn't the same anymore. I still love my RAs. Drew is spot on when he calls our RD team "dream team."
Am I just missing the close-knit community of The Q? or is it something deeper?
These are the questions I'm wrestling with right now... It's hard, but I know that God is still good. He is still in control.
Passion2012 was phenom. I can't explain it. Louie Giglio convinced me to get a Twitter. I'm part of a music vid -- that comes out Feb. 27th. Details about that will come SOON. SO pumped for it. #27million.
Since Passion2012, I've been praying Ephesians 6:19-20 ... my prayer sounds a little like this...
Papa, Whenever I speak, give me words so that I may fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel for which I am an ambassador in chains. May I declare it fearlessly as I should.Life is good. God is great.
More ramblings to come soon...
YAY I found your new blog! Ok well I can guarantee you of two things...
ReplyDelete1. Where Papa has you He has something for you right .... NOW... in this instant and He is also always taking us somewhere. Whether in a different location or not. He is still taking you on a journey.
and
2. You are doing work all over the nations RIGHT NOW. Like I said on my blog comment YOU ARE SUCH AN ENCOURAGEMENT! Because you are fighting WITH us all over the world YOU are fighting ALL OVER THE WORLD.
Love ya sista!
Taralah Neff